40 Things From My 40s

Today is my last day in my 40s.

As I look towards my 50s it is with a positive mindset, hope and optimism. My life is not perfect—never has been, doubt it ever will be. But, I am always loving life and curious what comes next.

As I am about to enter this new decade I find I am feeling the healthiest I ever felt—body, mind, heart and spirit despite circumstances making this also one of the most challenging times of my life. Below are some of the ups and downs of my 40s that brought me to where I am today.

  1. After decades of being scared of driving finally got my driver’s license (thanks to a little hypnotherapy and being out of the Toronto area)
  2. Got my very first car, a 2003 Jaguar X-type I lovingly call Lucy that I sometimes treat like a work truck, sometimes treat like a race car and still drive today
  3. Lost our wild and fun Siberian huskies, Loki and Sylvia when they passed away at the old ages of 14 and 15
  4. Said good-bye to my last living Grandma and gave the eulogy at her funeral
  5. Worked as librarian
  6. Founded the registered charity, Prairie Bear Books
  7. Because I love learning continued taking university classes
  8. Said goodbye to my stepfather who passed away too soon
  9. Lived in a charming, imperfect old Eaton house that I adore and call Hazel
  10. Wrote for the labour news website Rank and File (and has thrilled when Naomi Klein tweeted a link to one of my articles)
  11. Became a yoga teacher
  12. Nurtured plants and a garden (and killed more plants than I will ever admit to)
  13. Opened a yoga studio
  14. Started teaching BarreAbove, Tabata GX, Balletone, and Zumba
  15. Visited Victoria and fell in love with the city while discovering it by walking 150 km in 10 days through her beautiful streets
  16. Visited Jackson Wyoming and rode horses through the mountains
  17. Surprised myself driving through Yellowstone and the Rockies (this woman who couldn’t drive in her 30s was having fun now)
  18. Made several trips to our beautiful little place in the woods of Quebec
  19. Had a hysterectomy
  20. Adopted a tarantula named Rosita
  21. Watched my daughters grow and blossom as young women facing their own challenges and successes
  22. Made new friends, connected with old friends
  23. Saw some great concerts
  24. Along with the rest of the world experienced my first pandemic
  25. Been a blonde, brunette and a redhead (even had a bit of blue hair) and I can confirm hair colour doesn’t matter, I always have fun 😉
  26. Studied and took a deep dive into the field of embodiment
  27. Started writing for the newspaper
  28. Had a poem published in an anthology
  29. Did my very first death meditation. If you are well-resourced and in the right frame of mind I highly recommend. The saddest part for me was discovering that the thing I would regret most is not being kind and loving towards my own body and letting my body image issues limit me
  30. Spent 2 years working on those body image issues. If I couldn’t love my body could I like my body? If I couldn’t like my body could I be civil to my body? After putting in a lot of work I can truthfully say I appreciate, respect and love my body for the first time since my adolescence
  31. Started reaching out to counsellors and therapists for the first time
  32. Lost our beloved pup Charlie Bow at the age of 13 1/2. She had been with us since she was 16 weeks old.
  33. Published my first book, Letting Charlie Bow Go celebrating our love for her and dealing with her loss
  34. Started a small publishing company, Lilac Arch press
  35. Published 3 other books and 2 journals
  36. Became a full-time caregiver to someone with dementia
  37. Met our new dog friend, Tucker and welcomed him into the family
  38. Started running (something I was never sure I would be able to do and believe it is only possible because of my running partner Tucker)
  39. Celebrated 25 years of marriage with my best friend
  40. Felt love, joy, sadness, grief, hope, despair, anger, resentment, compassion, empathy, and contentment

In all its imperfection I get up every day with a smile on my face and see what is next in this journey. I am looking forward to tomorrow and this fabulous new adventure of my 50s!

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