It’s been eighteen months since our daughter passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. This is something one doesn’t just get over in the first year. The second year actually seems to be worse. I don’t think this something we get over ever. So what does one do?
I find myself living in my Season of AND
My hearts still shattered AND I feel joy.
I miss my daughter AND I have people I still love here.
Sometimes I can barely get an email sent for work AND I love the work I get to do.
I cry AND I dance with my husband (and the dogs) in the dining room.
I’m plagued by nightmares AND I have dreams for the future
I can struggle to get moving AND my movement practices nourish me and make me smile
I am haunted by old memories AND I get to make new memories (like kissing my husband at the top of the ferris wheel at the Calgary stampede)
Maybe it’s not just a season. Maybe the rest of my life will be defined by the AND. If you’re struggling with grief right now, I would invite you to look for the AND, embrace the AND, and work for the AND